I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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