everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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