john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
