its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
