no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
