Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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