I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
