Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
