I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
