Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
