You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
