she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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