So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
