I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
