He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
