I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
