his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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