yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I wish there were birth control emojis
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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