I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have already put on my inside pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
