did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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