Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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