literally had 100 drinks last night.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
