Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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