Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
