goodnight i made you a song goodbye
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
