can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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