If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
