I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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