i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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