why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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