Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
