no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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