When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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