Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
