Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
