so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
