my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
