Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
