you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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