It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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