Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
