I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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