dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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