i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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