I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
be right there i have to get my cape
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
