is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
