Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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