There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
