I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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