i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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