Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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