Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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