Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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