No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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