a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
