I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
