This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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