WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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