3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
