doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
