I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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