Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Umm I'm too high to move.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
