The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
